Being Polite for Beginners

This Thanksgiving I was really worried about the deluge of questions that were coming our way. While we weren’t asked all four of the questions I laid out before the holiday, the wife and I did have to think on our feet a bit. At that exact moment I was shown once again how smart and mentally agile my wife is as she thought quickly on her feet, avoided lying to family, and was the perfect amount of polite.

Now, before I go into this story I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. I love my family, every single one of them means well, they all want us to be happy, and I can’t think of a single one of them who would ever try and make the two of us feel bad if they knew the whole story. But, at the same time, because they don’t know anything whatsoever, one of my cousins, who happens to have two amazing children, couldn’t help herself from asking about our future potential offspring.

SOOOOO, here’s the scene. It’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving, but there are 30 people at my parent’s house for a big family meal. We’re in the TV room with about half of the crowd, we’re sitting next to my cousin-in-law and her husband who have two adorable children. They are also the only couple from our generation who have successfully procreated at this point, so their kids get a ton of attention. My wife is talking to my cousin’s wife about the child, you know, the more chit-chat stuff about sleeping, happiness, etc, and then the questions started to get turned around on her. Were we thinking about kids? Are we trying? Do we have news?

My wife is incredibly smart, I’ve always known that, and it was in that instant that her social skills really shined. Yes we were thinking about kids, no we’re not “trying”, we know it’ll happen when it happens, yes we know it usually takes time, no we’re not worried, and we’ll be sure to let them know when we have news. The entire interrogation only took a couple of minutes, but she told me afterwards that she couldn’t wait for it to end. All in all, she gave a perfect lesson on how to respond to questioning when dealing with infertility. I couldn’t have done it better if I scripted it myself.

We were extremely happy to escape from Thanksgiving with only that one direct questioning of our baby making ability. I know in my heart that my parents and grandparents and cousins, and my wife’s parents and grandmother and brothers really want to know about everything going on though. One day we’ll tell them. One, day after everything is done and we have a baby on the way, we might share this entire experience. I might share with them this blog. But for now, I think I’m happy with this being us against the world.

As for an update on our progress, the high-estrogen pill sequence ended over the weekend. We’ll know by the end of this week if they worked in starting a cycle. If they didn’t, which I’m realistically optimistic about, then we’ll cold-start a cycle of drugs and fertility treatments. Pretty much if they didn’t work, we’re back to where we were 3 weeks ago, which is a little sad, but better than going backwards and a lot cheaper than a month of drugs with no results. This month off has not made us less anxious, but even if it doesn’t work we were able to check something off the list of options, instead of wondering if it would work.

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