The Beginning of a Beginning

Anxious, scared, nervous, excited, impatient, determined, hopeful, confident and eager.

These are just some of the emotions going through my head right this second as my wife and I work toward becoming first time parents. Are we 100% prepared for what will undoubtably be decades of responsibility, sacrifice, joy, confusion, short tempers, dirty diapers, soccer game, concert recitals, late nights, early morning, sleep deprivation, know-it-all parents, and sheer excitement? Not exactly, but who is. With that knowledge, we have decided to try and take this crazy journey from a simple married couple with a dog-baby into a crazy set of parents with a real human child under our care. The great state of Arizona thinks we’re fit enough to be parents, and I don’t think we’re ever going to be more ready than we are right now, so here we go.

Just for clarity, we have technically been “trying” to have a baby for almost a year. At first we called it simply not trying to prevent having a baby, then we moved into full “let’s do this” mode. For reasons beyond our control, and for reasons that have tested the farthest reaches out of patience and sanity, we have been unsuccessful so far. Why, my readers who don’t exist yet may ask? Well, my minuscule and hopefully one day larger following, because despite what your parents and your high school health teachers may have told you, making a baby is much more complex than simply the birds and the bees. There’s more hormones, parts, steps, biological necessities and things that can go wrong than I ever imagined. Today, I know more about the male and female anatomy and a woman’s cycle than I would ever learn in bio 101 or sex ed.

I thought I knew. But I had no idea.

Our new found knowledge comes thanks to fertility experts and a lot of Google searches. What exactly we’re working through, exactly what my wife is having to endure, the pills, the shots, the doctor appointments, the waiting, the waiting, and the waiting, I’ll detail in the coming days. But just know that it’s a frustrating process full of excitement, nervousness, waiting, crankiness, and excitement. It has tested our patience, forced us to become closer than ever before, lead to many late night conversations and even tears. But one thing is has not done, reduced out determination, lowered our love, or made us want to become parents of a little boy or girl and less.

We’re determined to become parents, and good ones at that. We’re going to make it one way or another, and this is our journey from the perspective of view of a man who is determined to become a dad.


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